When East meets West: from a Buddhist monk’s perspective

“What if monks fall in love? They just stop being monks?” wrote one student on the exit survey after attending a talk by Master Jian Dan.

This afternoon, Master Jian Dan was invited by Ms. Sabrina Marsh to give a talk to her undergraduate “Community Education” class at University of Houston. The class is offered by College of Education, with the goal to expose pre-service teachers to different cultures, experiences and paradigms

In today’s talk, Master Jian Dan shared his personal experiences living in American as a Buddhist monk. He talked about the common misconception linking Buddhist monks to Kong-Fu masters, and his encounters of cultural conflicts or misunderstandings between the East and the West. Master called the differences “internal versus external.” He used three examples to illustrate the point, chopsticks vs forks, mental math vs calculator, and Gong-fu vs weapons. From this “internal versus external,” Master concluded the talk by making the connection to meditation. He explained the training of internal mind as the path to true happiness.

After the talk, students had the chance to ask questions. Questions ranged from if he can have family and kids, if becoming a monk was a self choice, whether he plans to stay in America or go back to Taiwan, are there female monks, can a person be both Christian and Buddhist, what are some of the Buddhist holidays, to what is karma.

Meditation
Immediately after the Q&A, Master gave the students some brief mediation instructions and the group meditated for five minutes. Several participants stated at the exit survey that meditation was the most interesting part of what they learned today. Exit survey also asked students to reflect on their meditation experience today:

“I have never meditated before. It was fine but I wish we had more time”
“I loved it”
“before my thoughts keep distracting me, but today I was able to dismiss my thoughts”
“I liked it because I did not understand how to do it [before]”
“hard”
“my back hurt”
“I have never meditated before and I found this experience very relaxing. I especially like that it is a new skill that I can use to lessen anxiety”
“it really made me feel relaxed and calm”
‘I have always wanted to try meditation and learn some techniques and I thought it was great”
“today’s meditation was good, a little hard on my legs due to inflexibility”

Exit survey – most interesting
Several quotes from the survey showcased the variety of students’ reaction to this talk. When asked “what was the most interesting thing you learned today?” students answered:

“about the attachments in your life and mind…”
“internal vs external, difference in east & west cultures”
“that we are capable of controlling our mind. I cannot even control my emotions. I find it very interesting”
“about reincarnation”
“that in Buddhism you do not attach to anything and do not live for the future. I thought it was interesting because I spend most of my energy worrying about the future”
“the perspective of American culture from someone else’s perspective because it is easy to take our every day lives for granted and it’s interesting to see how other cultures view us”
“that to be a monk you see everyone as being your parent though the concept of reincarnation”
“about the difference between west and east… never looked at it that way”

Exit survey – further questions

Exit survey also indicated that many students still had more questions they like to explore. Questions such as “philosophy and life that a Buddhist has” “Buddhism” “What Buddha represents” “reincarnation,” and more. One student asked “What if monks fall in love? They just stop being monks?” Well, I guess we just have to find out the answer next time!

Two special events next Wednesday

Both events will be held at our usual meeting place (UC, Lone Start, 2nd floor #280). There will be about 15-20 minutes overlap.

Special event one – Dedication of Merit to Ryan

As announced previously, one of our devoted members, Ryan Donaghy passed away on October 20. Ryan used to meditate everyday. Association of Buddhist Students had the honor to sit with him in the past several weeks. This week, we will maintain our regular weekly class. However, Venerable Jian Dan will give a special topic about positive attitude toward death in Buddhism. Then we will have a short ceremony called dedication of merit, a practice of sharing all the goodness created by any wholesome action. In our case, we will dedicate our group sitting merit to Ryan......

Noon – 12:30 meditation
12:30 – 12:50 special topic: positive attitude toward death in Buddhism
12:50 – 1:00 dedication of merit to Ryan *
1:00 – 1:15 sandwiches (grab and go)

* Dedication of Merit - Rev. Heng Sure/Compassionate and Wise - Fr. Cyprian Consiglio – MP3 Download (5.3MB) from UrbanDharma

(Chanting of the metta bhavana mantra in Sanskrit)

May every living being,
Our minds as one and radiant with light,
Share the fruits of peace
Our hearts of goodness, luminous and bright.
If people hear and see,
How hearts and hands can find in giving, unity,
May their minds awake,
To Great Compassion, wisdom and to joy.
May goodness find reward,
May all who sorrow leave their grief and pain;
May this boundless light,
Dispel the darkness of their endless night.
Because our hearts are one,
This world of pain turns into Paradise,
May all become compassionate and wise,
May all become compassionate and wise.

Special event two – When East meets West: from a Buddhist Monk’s perspective

Venerable Jian Dan will give a talk to a class of 20 students this Wednesday. The class, titled “Community education,” is offered through the College of Education, with the hope to expose pre-service teachers to different cultures and paradigms. The class instructor, Ms. Sabrina Marsh has invited the Venerable to give a talk about his experience as a monk living in the west. Everyone is invited to join this talk.
1:00 – 1:15 sandwiches
1:15 – 1:55 talk
1:55 – 2:00 basic meditation instructions
2:00 – 2:05 meditation
2:05 – 2:25 Q&A

Class 9 – Cultivating Compassion

Nowadays, compassion has almost become a buzz word that everyone talks about. As one of the fundamental concepts in Buddhism, compassion is such a big topic that it can take several classes to discuss. Today I just wanted to focus on two things: the differences between love and compassion, and some simple ways we can cultivate compassion in day-to-day life.

In Chinese, compassion is 慈悲. The first character means “give happiness,” and second one means “eradicate suffering.” In other words, a compassionate person tries to give others happiness by helping them eradicate their sufferings. In Buddhism, happiness means “without suffering.” That is why we also emphasize the concept of cause and effect. The logic is simple: if we don’t create any suffering causes, consequently there will be no suffering results. True happiness can be reached then.

Most people think of happiness as “plus” – more money, a better car, a prettier cell phone, etc. I think differently. I consider happiness as “minus” – the removal of sufferings caused by all the endless desires, wants, and wishes. Think about the last time you went to a movie with friends. You had a great time. The movie ended, you went home, and you felt a sense of lose! Why? Because your happiness was built on “plus.” When you don’t have “it,” you feel unhappy. These kinds of happiness are temporary. Not only do they not last long, they sometimes become the source of unhappiness. Compassion, on the other hand, is to give others true happiness by helping them remove their sufferings.

If you understand the true meaning of compassion, you can then easily tell the differences between compassion and love. First, love usually implies possession and control. The best example would be a typical relationship between the parents and their children: because I love you, so I want you to do something for me. The line between control and love is a very thin one. You have to observe it carefully. Some might argue that I am the parent therefore I have to take care of my children. Being a parent is your responsibility. A good parent fulfills his or her responsibilities without trying to control their children. You want to help your kids by providing them good environment and education, so they can grow to be their own person. You don’t own their life so you should not control them to be the way you want them to be. While love implies possession and control, compassion means I just want to offer, to give.

Moreover, love often implies “exchanges.” Just like conducting business, I give you something and you give me something back in return. I read in my physiology textbook a case study about abused wives. Even after years of abuse, many of them will not leave their husband. For one, they keep thinking: he will change one day. For two, they feel I have invested so much in him, in this family. Isn’t this just like doing business, a form of “exchange”? I invest in you so I am waiting for my return.

Lastly, compassion is selfishless where self-benefit is fully abandoned for the sake of serving all sentient beings. A compassionate person treats everyone as equal. On the other hand, love is often selfish, discriminating between the ones I love and the ones I don’t. For example, you attend your daughter’s dance recital where more than 30 dancers are on stage dancing. You take pictures. Go home and examine those pictures. You see only your daughter. Your pictures have only 1 person. Or maybe her close friends, the ones you know. This is a form of attachment. You are attached to seeing only your daughter. You go to see a dance with 30 people and you see only 1 person. If I go to the same dance recital, because I am not attached to any one person or thing, I will be able to see everything. When my attachment is eliminated, I have more room to see things as they are. Our life is more open this way.

Some might ask that I am a very selfish person. Why should I care about the benefits of others. Actually, we follow any practice all for very selfish reasons. Just think this way. I practice meditation so I can purify my mind. I cultivate compassion so I can reduce anger and remove attachments. Even if you have the desire to help others, you have to start by helping yourself first. For example, if you see someone drowning and you want to save him. Before you jump into the water, you have to make sure you know how to swim first. Otherwise, you both will die. Therefore, help yourself first then help others.

So how can we cultivate compassion in day-to-day life? To start, you should understand the concept of reincarnation. In Buddhism, we believe we are all connected somehow in our previous lives so we are here today in the same room. You might be my mom or dad or daughter or son in my previous lives. When understanding this, you treat everyone as equal and with compassion.

In addition, just look around and you will observe a lot of sufferings of sentient beings. By observing that sufferings are all around us, you will easily and naturally deepen your compassion toward all sentient beings.

A lot of people connect compassion with being nice. However, it is not necessary the case. A professor drops a student, a parent scolds a child, a friend warns another friend…all could be forms of compassion. The focus is on intention and result. The intention needs to be wholesome, for the betterment of the other person. Then you observe the result – has the action resulted in a better outcome? Remember a couple of weeks ago I mentioned the story that a Zen master hit the deers. On the surface, he hit the deers. However, if you examine his intention, he wanted to scare them away so they will not be hurt by human.

Lastly, you can try to practice vegetarianism. You try to reduce the consumption of meats, try to reduce your attachments to certain food. Practicing vegetarianism is one way of working on letting go of attachments, therefore opening up your heart and cultivating compassion.

Next time when you go to a group event, take some pictures. Try to treat everyone in the group equally. Observe all arising thoughts. Is it love or is it compassion? Observe yourself. Look inward. Think about how meditation can help and/or has helped you in cultivating compassion.

Passing of a devoted member – Ryan Donaghy

Sorry for this late notice. We received this shocking news (see Daily Cougar and Houston Chronicle) that one of our devoted members, Ryan Donaghy, passed away last Saturday. Ryan started attending our weekly meditation from class one. Those who came to class one should remember him because he brought his own meditation cushion that day! Several of you even asked about where he got his cushion. Ryan’s girlfriend wrote to me, “I really appreciate you and all of the ABS members who had helped Ryan in the past; you guys mean a lot to him. I would like you guys to come to his funeral tomorrow at 11 a.m. if possible. Ryan would be very glad to have you there.”

Their will be a service on Thursday, 25th at 11 AM. This will be approximately 45 minutes, followed by the burial, and then a reception.

St. Mary Magdalene
527 S. Houston Ave.
Humble, TX 77338
(281) 446-8211

*** updated
- videos for our Merit Dedication to Ryan
- our class addressing the right attitude toward death

Class 8 -- Dealing with Anger

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We experience many different emotions daily. We are happy one moment and sad the next. Our mood swings. Have you ever really asked yourself why you are experiencing these emotions? Where do they come from? Where do they go?

Let’s take anger for example. Where does anger come from? What are the causes of anger? Have you thought about it? Your first response might be: so-and-so said bad words to me, or so-and-so did something that hurt me. In other words, it is all someone else’s fault. In Buddhism, however, we take a different view.

In Buddhism, we believe, for example, that anger comes from either a hurt ego or an unfulfilled expectation. We are so attached to our “self,” that when someone said or did something bad to us, our ego is hurt. In other cases, we expect certain outcomes. For example, the girlfriend expects the boyfriend to bring her a birthday present but he did not. The girlfriend’s expectation is not met, therefore she is angry. Regardless of the causes of anger, however, when a negative emotion such as anger comes, what can we do to deal with it? I shared with you four ways to deal with anger.

First, because Buddhists believe in reincarnation, therefore just think that I must have done something bad to this person in previous life. I owed this person. What this person did to me now is just a way for me to pay this person back the debt. You will no longer be angry if you believe you are paying back something you owe. If you got angry, then you plant the anger seeds in your relationship. In the future when you two meet, the anger seeds might flourish and you two will be trapped in this bad cycle again and again. Wouldn’t you be glad to pay your debt and be done with it in this life?

Secondly, I talked about the concept of returning an unwanted gift. When someone gives you a gift, if you don’t accept it, then they have to take it back. Think of the bad words the other person said to you as an unwanted “gift.” If you simply do not accept the gift, then you are unaffected by the bad words. It is very interesting that, say someone is trying to provoke you, trying to make you mad. However, if you do not accept the “gift,” and are not mad, usually it is the other person who is really mad now.

The third way to deal with anger is to temperately transfer your emotion to something else, especially when the anger is too overwhelmed for you to handle at this moment. Go shopping, go to a movie, go to a restaurant, do whatever you like to do. However, if you can, try to meditate. Count your breath and pull yourself back to a tranquil state. After all, breath counting is a technique that can be carried anywhere, anytime, and it costs nothing.

Lastly, I talked about observing “emptiness.” In Buddhism, we believe all phenomena are created as a result of many conditions. If you analyze the causes of your anger, you will realize that anger itself does not have its own “self.” (therefore the concept of emptiness) Think about it. A moment ago someone said a bad word to you. That moment has since passed away. However, you are still clinging to that moment and creating anger in yourself. Remember a couple of weeks ago I shared with you the story of two monks crossing the river. The younger monk was still attached to a phenomenon that had long gone. If the phenomenon is gone, why do we still punish ourselves by continuing thinking about it?

A young lady always got angry for trivial matters. She went to ask a Zen master how she can deal with her emotion. After listening to her complains, the Zen master said nothing. The Master led her to a meditation room then he locked her in it.

At first, the lady was very angry. She kicked and hit the door. She shouted, yelled and cursed. However, no one paid attention to her. Eventually, she calmed down. The Zen master stood outside and asked, “Are you still angry?” “No, I only blame myself to decide to come here, only to have such a hard time.” “If you can not forgive yourself, how could you forgive others? How could you have peace in your mind?” Then the Zen mater walked away.

After a little while, Zen master came back and asked, “Are you still angry?” “No” “Why?” “Even if I were angry, there is no way out of here.” “You still have anger in your mind, you just temporarily suppress it. The anger would burst out violently later.”

The third time, Zen mater came to talk to her. The lady said, “I am not angry now, because it is not worth it.” The Zen master said, “You still think about whether being angry is worth something. You are still angry.”

“What is anger? The lady asked the Master, then she reached enlightenment.

Why are we angry? Anger is something dumps from someone else but you willingly accept. It gives you a stomachache if you swallow it but if you don’t pay attention, it disappears. Being anger is to use someone else’s mistake to punish yourself. Life is too short to waste our time in being angry.

Meditation helps eradicate our negative emotions such as greed, anger, and ignorance by being true to yourself, by gaining true understanding about yourself. Once we have the purified mind, we will not be influenced and controlled by desires, wants, and all the emotions. We live in a fast paced society where we are always running around, trying to do everything. We give very little time to ourselves. Meditation gives us the awareness and mental power necessary to face everyday life with tranquility. It is extremity important that we meditate every day. When we encounter emotions, we then can quickly go back to this peaceful state of mind.

There are only four more classes to go. Continue the practice, patiently and persistently. Practice makes perfect!

What is a monk’s life like?

This afternoon, Master Jian Dan made a guest appearance at a class titled “Introduction to Buddhism” (RELS 14766) The Master was invited by the instructor Ann Gleig to share his personal experience as a monk. Students were looking forward to seeing a real monk after studying about Buddhism this semester.

Master Jian Dan shared with everyone his aspiration of becoming a monk, his childhood stories that helped shape his journey into Buddhism, his several encounters with female pursuers as a monk, and how he lives in this modern world while trying to spread very traditional Buddhism concepts.

After sharing his experience, students had the chance to ask questions. Questions ranged from his family’s initial reaction when he became a monk, the meaning of different color robes, meditation techniques, what was his teacher like, to what he does to have a good time. Master Jian Dan answered each question with his usual sense of humor and sincerity.

Several quotes from the survey showcased students’ reaction to this talk. When asked “what was the most interesting thing you learned today?” students answered:

“that monks are in touch with modern reality. It showed me that this is not an ancient practice that I cannot relate to”
“That a monk doesn’t necessary have to meditate all day long everyday’
“Life in the monastery”
“The different meditation techniques used”
“About his life as a monk, his experience”
“I liked the story of how he became a monk, it shows that people join monastery for a variety of means.’
“I was fascinated to hear about the encounter with impermanence”
“the monks lifestyle and how their life is modernized but yet still use Buddhism principles”
“Just hearing about his personal experience in starting to become a monk”

Overall, students enjoyed this experience as they commented:

“Excellent, great acting skills and sense of humor”
“I liked it. It was very insightful to have a real monk speak on his experience”
“very enjoyable! And quite insightful”
“was amazed at his compassion”
“very interesting”
“fantastic. Thank you so much”

Come to our Wednesday class and meet this humorous, compassionate monk who, as commented by one student, has “great acting skills.”

Class 7‏ - Inner Beauty

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What is beauty? Is it our physical character or is it something resides in our inner quality?

Two monks went to the market to buy some fruits. The older monk picked up a big peach and said to the younger monk "See how beautiful this one is!" The younger monk turned around and picked up another one. "This one is prettier." "Why?" the older monk questioned. "Your peach has spots on the skin. Look at mine, spotless, beautiful!" the younger monk replied. The two monks then argued over which peach is more beautiful than the other. A bystander overheard the conversation and commented to both monks, "They both are perfect!" Upon hearing this, both monks immediately reached enlightenment.

All peaches, regardless of their outside skin condition, possess identical nutrition values. However, it is our dualistic mind (as discussed last week) that always likes to compare. We compare this peach with that peach, this cloth with that cloth, this person with that person…. Then we separate them into like, dislike, good, bad, favorable, not favorable…

Buddha had a cousin Nan Tuo (難陀) who had a very beautiful wife. Nan Tuo would comb her hair and help her put on makeup everyday just to make her look even more beautiful. In Nan Tuo's mind, his wife is the most beautiful woman in the world. Because Nan Tuo had such a strong attachment to his wife's outer appearance, even after he became a monk, he continued to miss his wife. To help Nan Tuo eradicate such an attachment, one day Buddha used his supernatural power to bring Nan Tuo to heaven. Everyone in heaven is astonishingly beautiful. Nan Tuo noticed right away and was stunned by all the beauty the heavenly beings possess. Buddha asked Nan Tuo, "how is your wife's beauty compared to these heavenly beings?" "My wife is like an old monkey!" Nan Tuo responded.

Like I said last week, the duality of our mind creates all external phenomena. Originally Nan Tuo thought his wife was the most beautiful of all. However, compared with the heavenly beings, his wife can only be rated as an old monkey! So the question is, what is true beauty?

Like all peaches have the same nutrition values, each one of us possesses Buddha nature and has the same opportunity to reach enlightenment. The real beauty resides within each one of us. When we have inner beauties such as compassion and loving kindness, such a quality will manifest itself outward. Naturally, our outer appearance will change as a result of our inner tranquility.

Meditation creates a tranquil mind, a non dualistic mind. Such a mind is the inner beauty we all should seek. Continue the practice, patiently and persistently. Practice makes perfect! Remember in Nan Tuo's story that he will go to heaven and enjoy all the bliss and beauty. However, if he did not continue the practice, he still will end up in hell after he uses up all his blessings. As we discussed in class 2, Heaven and Hell are states of mind, not places we go after life. Be the master of our own minds today!

Religious Awareness Week with FREE lunches

Time: each day at noon, Monday through Friday October 15-19, 2007

Lunch: Free lunch is served everyday by a different ministry

Location: Religion Center

What: listen and share one’s religious experience and beliefs in a positive, personal way. Learn how to listen and converse constructively with those whoes beliefs or experiences are very different.

Who: everyone is invited. We are not asking for ‘official teachings’ - knowing that those from the same faith family often differ greatly – we are asking for the students to engage one another on the level of their own faith, understands, and experience – and do more listening than talking.

How: students will be invited to seat themselves at religiously mixed tables. The question for each day will take the form: “In your understanding and experience, what does your religious tradition teach about………. And how is it lived out?”

Themes:
Monday - Love
Tuesday – Justice
Wednesday - Forgiveness
Thursday – Peace
Friday – Right and Wrong

If your time permits, we need Buddhist students to participate and share your experience.

Class 6 - Duality

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This was our sixth week of this semester, an important milestone for ABS and for you! Like a lot of you, I was also dealing with midterms and papers in the past two weeks. Like a lot of you who have full-time or part-time jobs, I was also feeling the pressure of balancing school work and other responsibilities. Again, like a lot of you, sometimes I wish I were “free” from all the responsibilities.

How can we be “free”? Is it the responsibilities that hold us prisoner or is it that we all are simply the prisoners of our own mind?

Once upon a time, there was a Zen master Gaofeng Miao (高峰妙). He was traveling and visiting other Zen masters. One day he was staying at a motel and got thirsty in the middle of the night. In the pitch dark, he found his way to the kitchen and a large container full of water. Immediately he drank the water, which had a sweet taste to it. The next morning, he woke up and wanted to drink that sweet water again. He went to the kitchen and was ready to drink the water from the container. In the daylight, however, he saw something floating on the surface. In addition, there was this filthy smell to it. It turned out that the water was waste from people washing their feet. Upon realizing that he drank some very dirty water the night before, Zen master Gaofeng Miao was shocked at first. Immediately then he reached enlightment.

Last night when the Zen master drank the water, he thought it had a sweet taste to it. This morning when he realized this was feet-wash waste, he did not have the desire to drink it anymore. Why? It was clearly the same water! Therefore the difference must not be the water. The difference lies in our mind. Our mind distinguishes clean from dirty, pretty from ugly, big from small, like from dislike. It is this duality of our mind that separates all phenomena. When realizing how dirty the water really is, the duality in our mind tells us not to like it and not to drink it. The duality of our mind creates all external phenomena; all external phenomena are the reflection of our mind. Zen master Gaofeng Miao reached enlightment by realizing this.

To further illustrate the point of duality, I shared with you another story about two mother-in-laws.

Mother-in-law A was complaining to mother-in-law B of how her son is married to this lazy wife. The wife does nothing around the house. Mother-in-law A’s son has to do everything, from preparing breakfast to doing laundry. “The wife is so lazy and my son is so unfortunate to have married her,” mother-in-law A grumbled.

“My daughter is very fortunate to have married to my son-in-law,” mother-in-law B shared. “How so?” Mother-in-law A asked. “Because my son-in-law does everything around the house. My daughter has to do nothing.” Mother-in-law B explained.

Clearly both in-laws are in the same situation. However, they both speak from a different perspective. The phenomenon remains the same; our mind distinguishes it. We all like to use our own standards to measure everything. As a result, we often make mistakes. Meditation helps us clear our mind so we can see things as is, not as how we want it to be.

Jerry asked an interesting question today, which related to the topic of duality. Jerry asked what is suffering. There is an English expression: one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. What is considered suffering differs from person to person. Many people consider meditation suffering. When you value a certain thing, it becomes pleasant for you. When you don’t see the value of a certain thing, it might be the suffering for you. Suffering is the gap between reality and expectation. Again, it is the duality of our mind that creates all phenomena. Meditation helps us find the reality within and free us from all sufferings. Remember, we are always the prisoners of our own minds!

There are only six more classes to go. Continue the practice, patiently and persistently. Practice makes perfect!