Ryan was the first member of this association that I added to my Facebook account. He used to poke me whenever he found me online. When I received this shocking news last week, I realized I will never receive a poke from Ryan anymore. I am sad just like everyone else. Then I remember a story about a grieving mother.
Life is impermanent
During Buddha’s time, a mother was grieving for her son’s death. Her son died shortly after birth. The mother was so overtaken by the sorrow, she took her son’s body in search for a way to get her son back to life. Someone told him there is this enlightened saint named Buddha; maybe he has a way. This mother went to Buddha and expressed her sorrow and wish. The Buddha said, I can help if you can go and find a fire from a household to light this candle and bring this candle back to me. However, you have to get the fire from a household where nobody has ever died. The mother thought, this is easy, all I need to do is to light the candle. She went from door to door looking for a household where nobody has ever died. However, every household she visited, they all told her that, “we are more than happy to help you but somebody has died in my family. Sorry.” After a while, the mother finally realized that everyone eventually dies and life is truly impermanent. After realizing the truth about life and death, the mother was able to stop her sorrow, start practicing Buddhism, and eventually reached enlightenment.
Life never ends
In addition, in Buddhism, we also believe that life never ends. Life is like taking courses. We pass some courses while fail others. For those courses we fail, we have to retake them. For Ryan, he did petty well in relationship; a lot of friends memorialize him here today. However, he still had some courses that he needed to come back and retake. For example, I asked him to design a music program for us. He promised but it did not materialize. He still owed us a music program. If several years later, you see a cute boy who loves meditation, loves singing and playing music after we practice mediation. You know he is back!
Sadness is attachment
Some might ask, “Why do we feel sad?” We feel sad because we are still attached to him. When he is no longer with us, we lose the space, the chance to “practice” attachment to him. The practice of meditation can help us practice detachment. In Buddhism, lights also symbolize wisdom. Wisdom is like the light that illuminates the road ahead and chases away the shadow. Let’s find your wisdom within! During this difficult time, may your wisdom help you focus on the positive things we can learn from this event.
Dedication
Thanks to Ryan, because of him we have this chance to gather together today. Thanks to Ryan, he showed us how impermanent life is. He was like a bodhisattva, incarnated to teach us those truths. His death enlightens us to understand those truths just as the light that brightens our paths. To appreciate his teaching us about impermanence, we dedicate this wisdom to him. We wish that he could shower under the light of wisdom and achieve enlightenment. We wish that he will come back soon and we can practice meditation together again.
Also, let’s do not forget about the friendships present in this room right now. We appreciate this moment, appreciate everyone who is here today. Learning from Ryan, also we learn from all sentient beings. Ask yourself what did you learn from this event? For me, I treasure the chance we could gather here. May all become compassionate and wise and find the wisdom light within you.
Our minds as one and radiant with light,
Share the fruits of peace
Our hearts of goodness, luminous and bright.
If people hear and see,
How hearts and hands can find in giving, unity,
May their minds awake,
To Great Compassion, wisdom and to joy.
May goodness find reward,
May all who sorrow leave their grief and pain;
May this boundless light,
Dispel the darkness of their endless night.
Because our hearts are one,
This world of pain turns into Paradise,
May all become compassionate and wise,
May all become compassionate and wise.
(lyrics from UrbanDharma)
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